When They Don’t Understand You, Show Them!

When you ask them to understand, they don’t. When you ask them to feel your pain, they can’t. When you share your struggles, they weigh theirs heavier than yours. Words don’t always reach them. The impact is shallow. But put them in your shoes—let them walk your path, even for a moment. Let them feel what you feel. Let them see what you see. Only then will their eyes open. Only then will they truly understand.

I had told him several times that I didn’t have an extra pair. He didn’t seem to care. I even explained that my old shoes were almost two years old and falling apart. Still, he insisted. This time, I didn’t bother replying. What else was there to say? I decided I’d deal with it when I got home.

When I arrived, I sat down on a wooden bench, pulled off my shoes, and slid them over to him. “There you go, bro. Your shoes.”

He picked them up, turning them over and over in his hands. He inspected the front, the back, the inside, and the soles. His silence said it all. Those shoes were beaten up. Wrinkled leather, flimsy support, and the kind of wear and tear that screamed, Please retire me.

His face changed. Frustration mixed with disappointment. It was hard to miss. Everyone in the house could see it. He had expected something else. He thought I’d bring him a new pair from Port Moresby. In his mind, city life meant flashy cars, shiny shoes, and an easy, dreamlike existence. What he didn’t know was how hard we hustle every day just to keep our heads above water.

The next morning, I asked my mom for her slippers. I had nothing to wear. My shoes were still sitting in the house, but I couldn’t bring myself to put them back on. I thought maybe my brother had forgotten them. I figured he’d come back for them at some point.

He didn’t.

He came around the house a few times after that, but the shoes stayed untouched. Eventually, I put them back on and returned to Port Moresby with them.

Here’s the truth. 
Graduating with a degree doesn’t mean a good job is waiting for you. Getting a job doesn’t mean you’re earning enough to live comfortably. People back home don’t understand that. They’ll ask for things you can’t afford to give. They’ll expect more than you can offer.

Explaining doesn’t help. I’ve tried. Sometimes, the best way to teach them is to let them see for themselves.

REMEMBER THIS:

• You’re not broke just because someone says you are.
• You’re not a bad person just because you don’t meet others’ expectations.
• It’s okay to make decisions that upset people, even the ones you care about.

Sometimes, the right thing to do isn’t the easy thing. But it’s still the right thing.